THE USS NIGHTMARE: The Book Of Nightmares!
In a room full of haunt reviewers, newspaper freelancers, and paranormal investigators, the best source of information about the USS Nightmare, America's premier haunted steamboat, wasn't The HOUSE OF DOOM!!!. Nor was it any of the other guests (Steve Novotni from CityBeat, Ohio Valley Haunts, the Boone County Recorder, hauntedreviewer.com, City Blood, the Nightmare's web designer, or the guys from CRAPS-more on them later). It's not Hauntworld or any of the other haunt sites, either. It's certainly not to be found in any newspaper or TV archive. No, the best source of information on the USS Nightmare this evening is found inside a three ring binder with a seasick-green color scheme that's bulging with paper. It's a compendium of virtually ever story ever done and every review ever written about Nightmare II (Nightmare I is lying peacefully at the bottom of the river, having sunk a few years back-just waiting to return to life)-along with original photographs, blueprints, newsletters, and histories of the ship in its prior life as the river dredge USS Mitchell. The book has been compiled by the Nightmare's longtime 'Captain', Allen Rizzo, and is fascinating reading for anyone who's a haunt aficionado. It should be enshrined in the ship's onboard Mitchell Museum as "The Book Of Nightmares"-taking its place among the macabre memorabilia to be found within.
Allen points to a survey taken years ago by a professional marketing firm in conjunction with early haunt Website Haunted America and Haunted Attraction Magazine. It's 20 pages of solid information, and he states that "….reading this is where I really began to understand all of the different factors that go into making a haunted house successful. Making the boat into a first class attraction had never been a problem, but there were marketing and ticketing ideas in there I had never considered that have worked out great for us over the years". He then pulls out a newsletter and some pictures showing the USS Black, the Mitchell*s sister ship that has been restored and turned into a floating museum. One of the newer items centers around some film shot recently by CRAPS (this stands for Cincinnati Regional Association for Paranormal Studies). It shows a ghostly mass moving across the outside deck of the Nightmare-it could be mistaken for a simple bank of fog until the mass stops in its tracks and remains still for several minutes, finally disappearing. Is the Nightmare haunted-a real ghost ship? Allen says that the actors all swear it is, but that he isn*t convinced. You can visit the Nightmare*s Website or CRAPS at http://www.oh-craps.com , watch the video, and decide for yourself.
Dealing with more earthly matters, the ship was told by the local fire department that they needed to remove all of the extension cords and replace them with power strips. Given the size of the ship, this was a massive undertaking and precluded anything in the way of rotating scenes or producing new ones this season. However, one positive came from it-the lighting was redone to highlight different areas of a room or props that had normally been left in darkness, giving the scenes a new look in many cases. The cargo hold in particular is an amazing showcase for multiple layers of lighting-backlighting, strobing, purples, reds, yellows, spots, you name it-it looks chaotic but perfectly enhances the action of the room, which features multiple crew members hounding hauntgoers from multiple directions. Look at the picture below of the "What*s Up" animatronic-a pin spot is perfectly placed to highlight the head that bursts out of the effect at the end. The effective soundtrack does much the same thing, keeping a hauntgoer*s nerves on edge throughout-it*s also one of the loudest in town and reverberates nicely within the ship.
The Nightmare continues to be one of the largest haunts in town, having over 60 scenes and taking about half an hour to tour. Much of the eerie decor is due to the natural environment-the rusted out and decrepit pipes, winches, engines, conduits, hatchways, and other machinery and superstructure of the ship. This is further enhanced by the massive damage done to the end of the boat during its final voyage (when in real life it broke free from its moorings and slammed full tilt into a bridge). One end of the superstructure is crushed (the crew*s quarters)-flattened as if by the hand of a titan. Particularly striking are the paddlewheel wells, one per side, where one climbs open rusting catwalks only a few feet above the Ohio river to get across. The Nightmare didn*t have to do much to make touring the boat a disturbing experience, but has spared no expense over the years to enhance the scenes with bloody props, set dressing, and animatronics. One look at the Mitchell Museum in the very first room of the ship will let hauntgoers know what*s in store-there*s an incredible array of artifacts and oddities. Despite dozens of trips through the ship (and being allowed to inspect sets at my leisure and take photos), I always find something new. For example, there*s a vampire extermination kit in there. Nearby are several different shrunken heads in jars-the HOD!!! can imagine that they*re calling out for their brother, who we took home last year from the museum after winning the Ship*s "Spot The Animal" contest. We need to post a picture of him sometime-he kinda looks like Damien Reaper. There are huge insects, animal skeletons, esoteric books, and Things Man Was Not Meant To See. One of the bigger Things Man Was Not Meant To See is in the next room-the Impaler, the Nightmare*s 13 foot tall centerpiece and Captain Mitchell*d prize catch, who is passed three times during the tour at different heights. He*s in the best looking room in the house, the old dredge room, with a claustrophobic fishing net pressing in on passengers as he flails away. While he*s the most prominent animatronic, there are lots more-like the jawless crawler in the sick bay, the coffin jumper, hanging man, monsters on operating tables in the lab, the head ripper in the operating room, the watchdog in between the 2nd deck and the wheelwell, and corpses flying from coffins everywhere. They complement the rooms staffed by live actors, such as the visually stimulating Captain*s Dining Room, the Vampire Lair, the Galley, the Body Bag Freezer, Cargo Hold, Ship*s Doctor, Traveling Carnival, Anna*s Room, the Secret Passages behind the walls, and more.
Steve Schreibeis is responsible for making the Nightmare*s actors look their worst by doing his best. He*s in charge of the ship*s makeup artists and over the years has taken the event further and further away from the mainstream, giving the actors a unique look. "We have two guys this year who are not only makeup artists but sculptors," said Steve. "Within a couple of years, all of the prosthetic pieces you see inside will be completely unique to our event-we won*t be using anything you can buy off the shelf. Jason*s also come back from California (Jason*s the Nightmare*s longtime set detailer and actor). As the season wears on, we also plan on altering character makeup-for instance, there*s the actor in the first room with two spikes sticking out of his cheek. We plan on adding one every couple of days until by the end of the season, he*ll have a whole head full of them!"
The actors onboard have been given more opportunities as well to develop unique characters to call their own. The Rat Lady and Captain were the first of these, but in more recent years we*ve seen the Vampire Overlord, Anna (the Captain*s daughter), the Captain*s brother, the Butler, and more. Many of these (the Overlord and Anna) are played by the same actor on a nightly basis. And this year, there are a couple of REALLY unique actors skulking around. The Nightmare was approached by a couple of little people who wanted to be actors, and they*ve been the hit of the season. The HOD!!! was unaware of this, but it seems there*s a large segment of the population that*s terrified of little people-like the woman being chased around the center display in the clown room by the two, sent one way and then the next as she encounters each in turn. The ship has been trying them out in different scenes, looking for just the right room where they work best. They*ve been spotted in the kitchen, the night watchmen*s area, and the clown room. From the descriptions given, it seems they might have been most successful as clowns-combining two phobias for maximum impact.
The Nightmare*s often taken to task for having a consistent theme throughout, until the very end where a clown area appears, there*s a forested section, and a chainsaw run-out. In fact, Allen showed me a recent review in The Book Of Nightmares that mentioned this very thing. However, these elements all fit neatly within the theme and the history of river traffic. The Nightmare*s press releases over the years have spelled it out in detail. On the Mitchell*s last voyage, the passenger manifest included a traveling carnival troupe. When they were all killed in the shipwreck and killing spree that took place on board, their spirits stayed on and continued to haunt the boat. That*s also why in addition to clowns you have the Rat Lady, the Snake Charmer (well, not this year), and all the signs scattered around the ship advertising sideshow attractions. This is historically accurate-traveling circuses and shows did use riverboats for transport from port to port and naturally had their displays and gear with them. It really does make perfect sense, and Captain Mitchell being a lover and collector of oddities (which explains some of the other weird stuff on board) would have welcomed such a group. How about the forested area? The ship ran aground, and the part touching shore began to be overgrown with encroaching greenery. In a warm, moist climate, it wouldn*t take long for it to work its way inside an open hallway. Chainsaw guy? A ghostly member of the crew wielding a chainsaw he had been issued to cut apart blockages in the river or use on board. For that matter, it could just be a local hillbilly engaged in looting the ship after it ran aground and looking to get rid of anybody who trespassed on his *property*. This bit of retro-haunt history was brought to you by The HOUSE OF DOOM!!!. That*s The HOUSE OF DOOM!!!-the haunt review site with the Fearless Leader who remembers reams of obscure trivia. Since I seem to be the only person who remembers the Nightmare*s press releases, maybe they should work on reintroducing these themes and featuring the Captain and his family in a new queue line video. And yes, Nightmare crew, that*s a hint!
Once exiting the boat, you'll come across another floating vessel-this one a bit more benign. It's Nightmare Landing, the new floating building that houses arcade games, a food concession, a small party room, the photo concession (selling copies of the photo taken of your group upon entering the boat, using a computer to superimpose it over scenes from inside the ship) and the Laser Rage laser tag arena. It's a great place to unwind and hang out at after undergoing traumatic experiences on board the boat-but be careful, because there's a steady stream of creatures that escape the confines of the Nightmare to further terrorize the crowds here. This being the annual Haunt Reviewer's night, the haunt reviewers and Nightmare crew chose sides to battle it out Laser Rage style. The HOD!!! had Brian Robbe, Steve Schreibeis, and another Nightmare crew member on their team while the opposition was provided by our friends at City Blood and Ohio Valley Haunts. After our less than stellar performance during the HOD!!!'s preview of the Nightmare a couple of weeks ago, we're happy to report that it was our turn to kick some ass. When the fog of battle lifted, not only was the HOD!!!'s team the winner, but the Fearless Leader was the overall MVP. Woot! Well, it's not quite up to winning the lottery, the World Series, or clearing level 30 of the infinite castle in Sengoku Musou, but we'll take our victories where we can get them. Win or lose, Laser Rage is a great time and well worth the $5 it costs to play. It's almost an extension of the haunt-an entrance with billowing fog and strobe lights, a dark twisted maze inside full of hiding spots, black lights and strange artwork-and will give you plenty of opportunities to rag on your friends afterwards. We also tried out air hockey and a couple of other arcade games and found that all those hours in front of the XBOX360, Wii, and PS3 (and PS2, PSP, all the Gameboys and NES systems, the DS, PS1, XBOX, Amiga, PC, TI99, Atari 2600-5200-Jaguar, Intellivision, C64, Famicom and Super Famicom, Wonder Swan, Colecovision, Odyssey, Sega Master System-Genesis-CD-32X-Dreamcast-Saturn-GameGear, and other systems we've forgotten about) meant that even an old guy can still have mad video game skillz.
Always a highlight of every trip on board the Nightmare are the haunt stories related by Allen Rizzo. My personal favorite of the evening was his rendition of the REAL reason the Nightmare has never used its $2,000 moving rails (which are still installed and ready to go) inside the vortex tunnel. "After we installed them and had everything ready to go the night before opening, I had a dream. I was in court and looking at this banged up old lady being questioned by a judge in a white wig. He looked at the old lady and said, *So what you*re telling me, ma*am, is that the SAFETY RAIL was moving?* I went to the haunt the next day and deactivated the effect". Despite the outcry from the assembled haunt journalists to turn the rails on and let the chips fall where they may, Allen remains adamant-this is one dream that he DOESN*T want to come true! While taking suggestions from the haunt reviewers, Allen explains the difficult logistics and feasibility of doing an effective *Pepper*s Ghost* illusion (the effect using an angled sheet of glass to make it look like a ghostly figure is present). In doing so, it turns out that he*s familiar with the classic Morris "How To Operate A Financially Successful Haunted House" book-what was, in effect (along with the Jaycees Haunt Guide), the first book to address the construction, staffing, and promotion of a commercial haunted house. The book just turned thirty this year, and the first edition is a treasured possession of the HOD!!!. Allen not only knows all the most up to date tricks of the trade, but all of the old school stuff as well!
Thus ends another terror filled tale of the USS Nightmare, and The Book Of Nightmares is put aside for another season. However, the story isn*t over-there are many other chapters yet to be written. They*ll no doubt be more fraught with fear and bone-chilling haunting than any that have came before!
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