KINGS ISLAND HALLOWEEN HAUNT: Thinning The Herd!
Befitting its status as one of the Top 10 Amusement Park Halloween Haunted Events (at # 7 as determined by Hauntworld Magazine), Kings Island*s annual Halloween Haunt can see some huge crowds and long lines. Where other events might increase the pace of their throughput in order to accommodate the excess flow of customers, Halloween Haunt has instead taken a novel approach towards solving the dilemma. This solution has taken the form of the park*s newest haunted maze, the Slaughter House. From the first room to the last, park goers are treated firsthand to a behind a scenes look at how R & J Meats procures their fine products. From slaughtering, storage, cutting, preparation, and shipping, it*s all there, complete with a suffocating *cattle chute* at the end. In fact, the experience may be a little TOO firsthand for many of the folks going through. There*s quite a few carcasses that look suspiciously human hanging in the meat locker, and I don*t think that woman on the table stripped clean of flesh down to her spine is undergoing an experimental medical procedure. But this does seem to help keep the lines and crowds a bit smaller and more under control-you might call it KI*s way of *haunt natural selection*...or thinning the herd, as it were.
The Slaughter House joins 12 other themed events at this year*s Halloween Haunt, and through the courtesy of Kings Island and Don Helbig we were able to tour all of them in relative safety. Gone from last year are the Dead Awakening stage show, the Red Beard*s Revenge maze, and the Work Site Fear Zone. That*s a nice trade off, as basically a Fear Zone has been replaced by a full blown indoor attraction. Replacing them in the annual lineup of 13 are the Slaughter House, Cut Throat Cove, and the Hot Blooded stage show. They join returnees Tombstone Terror-tory, Carnevil, Club Blood, Death Row, Cemetery Drive, CornStalkers, Ghouls Gone Wild, Massacre Manor, Urgent Scare, and the Trail Of Terror. Together they make up an event that will easily keep haunt patrons busy from 7 to 1 AM-in fact, it could easily take more than one trip to experience everything. It*s by far the most entertaining and well produced multi-event attraction in the area, having made great strides towards putting together a well coordinated and themed show the last couple of years. So without further adieu, let*s take a look at this year*s menu of fright...
The first thing you*ll notice is that KI has spared no effort to extend seasonal decorations to every inch of the park. You*ll be confronted by a man thrashing in an electric chair, billowing waves of fog, KI*s two custom hearses, a huge skull gate with blazing eyes, fountains sporting strange colors, and hordes of wandering characters that will accost park goers at every turn-and that*s just after walking in the entrance. The roaming characters have the most bizarre and elaborate costuming in the park, from your run-of-the-mill zombies to human sized ravens, bats, homicidal hillbillies, butchers, and even the towering scarlet-shrouded host of this year*s event. They*ll even lie in wait for you outside the exit to a restroom, as we found out the hard way! Lining International Street are storefront displays showcasing scenes of horror ranging from Death working at his desk in the great beyond to a highly detailed dungeon lab with the Frankenstein Monster and Dr. Frankenstein. Next to the fountains are small staged *previews* of the park*s main haunted attractions, letting you know just what*s in store. While getting near to some attractions, you*ll notice that the outside decor will reflect their proximity-for example, the R & J Meats delivery van is located nearby the Slaughter House, filled to the brim with body parts and gore. There*s also a tree chipper being used for body disposal and a large refrigerated glass display case full of grisly goodies next to it. And everyone you go, there are skeletons-skeletons from the Old West, pirate skeletons, regular skeletons, skeletons in hospital gear-the only thing you won*t see are the celebrity skeletons KI took down earlier in the week. After a big stink raised by a Nashville sportstalk program over the depiction of Steve McNair (former Tennessee Titans QB who was killed by his mistress while cheating on his wife earlier this year, which for some unknown reason qualifies him for sainthood among Tennessee fans) they were removed. So you won*t see the skeletons of Michael Jackson, McNair, Dave Thomas, and others who have joined the great beyond. While some question KI*s judgment in putting them up in the first place, I think it was a stroke of marketing genius-it got them publicity that they never could have bought and also established them as an *edgy* attraction, all in one stroke. The park decor, from Coney Maul to stands selling Funeral Cakes and Ice Scream to the sickly lighting on the Eiffel Tower, does a fantastic job of immersing the patrons in the Halloween Haunt experience every second they spend there.
The Trail Of Terror is one of the original events at KI, having had several names and dating back to the very first FearFest (the original name of Halloween Haunt) in 2000. It*s sporting a brand new facade this year but hasn*t changed its time honored tradition of trekking through a forest filled with down home psychos, just looking to ambush any city dwellers that come their way. It*s probably the busiest event with the longest lines as well. There are graveyards, toxic waste dumps, a Port-O-Let Farm (watch out or you*ll get hosed down!), corridors of severed heads, creatures swinging down from trees, moonshine stills, and chainsaws. LOTS of chainsaws. Enough so that you*ll never escape them. The Trail is dark but had low key rope lighting installed along the path last year (and the path is now paved), so the issues that saw people wander off the path and lose their footing have been addressed. It also means that on a rainy night, the event can continue to operate. Some of the actors installed here were very creepy indeed, such as the woman sitting off to the side sobbing to herself or the maniac that shadows your group from behind trees and bushes while happily cackling to himself.
Massacre Manor is another longtime event, and wouldn*t you know it, the Realtor in the first room STILL hasn*t been able to sell it after several years-even with a slashed price. Years ago a would be Prom Queen kidnapped, tortured, and killed several of the boys who shunned her and some of the girls that took them away from her. Based on the screams coming from the basement she may not be finished, either. The house also contains many of her equally insane relatives such as her crazy mother holding court in the kitchen and a demonically possessed sibling spinning around on a thrashing bed in the bedroom. Watch the paintings on the walls along the way to see the Prom Queen in various stages of homicide-knowing what she looks like might be valuable in case you run into her at some point. This event seems to have been the most popular of the indoor mazes over the years, and has had the lighting brought up a few notches since its days as the House Of Darkness in order to make it easier to traverse.
If murderous maniacs and suburban slashers aren*t your style, why not try out Carnevil? It*s more of an evil funhouse than a haunted one, although those with a fear of clowns would disagree. You*ll find brightly lit corridors full of 3-D day-glo art (which really pops out with the 3-D glasses supplied by KI). There are tall clowns, marionette clowns, short clowns, fat clowns, female clowns, and just for good measure, short fat female clowns. There are also cotton candy monsters, fortune tellers, a ringmaster, and strange creatures that haunt the void of what looks to be an empty room. There*s also the perennial crowd-pleaser, the spinning vortex tunnel. We were surprised to see that a couple of new effects were added to the event, including a hilarious animatronic with an extending neck.
For those whose tastes run more to hot chicks than roly-poly clowns, Club Blood has just what you*re looking for. A darkened alley full of undead bikers on motorcycles leads to the entrance of Club Blood, where the fanged bouncer checking ID*s doesn*t seem too inclined to let the living venture inside. However, if the dancers inside are thirsty, he might make an exception. There you*ll be treated to vampire strippers pole dancing inside cages, while a slimy DJ makes promises of fantasies beyond your wildest dreams. However, the strippers aren*t just confined to cages-they*re stalking the bar and the immediate neighborhood as well, propositioning hauntgoers and slaking their thirst on women from an underground abortion clinic-at times in a very disturbing way. The two girls lounging on the bar with their legs in the air give a whole new meaning to the phrase *body shots*. There*s also the most disgusting room in an area haunt-the lavatory of the Club is full of crap-literally. Whoever Club Blood*s janitor is, he*s earning his paycheck, and it*s a good bet Charlie McFree is glad is isn*t him! This haunt is a big favorite among men, but strangely enough, the women leaving it didn*t seem to think too much of it. Hmmmmm...you don*t think they might be a bit jealous or anything?
Well, if THAT didn*t make them jealous, it*s a good bet the new Hot Blooded stage show will. This song and dance review ostensibly is about two teenagers that get lost inside the cavern lair of a nest of vampires. When the King Vampire comes swooping in over the audience on a line to land on stage, you know it*s going to be a great show! There*s some good pyrotechnics along with a striking colored waterfall that displays colors and patterns appropriate to the action, at times even being parted to let the vampires move back and forth. The real attraction, at least for the guys, are the six vampire gals (who change costume several times during the performance, wearing less and less as it progresses) who are a constant blur of motion, tempting the two teens to join them in their decadent lifestyle. There*s even a touch of gore, as a couple of participants meet the time-honored stake to the heart...with one producing a huge blood geyser. Overall, a great show with some impressive dancing and performances (their stamina is amazing-the show is put on 4 times a night) and a great place for a momentary break from schlepping around the park.
The Ghouls Gone Wild revue has much of the same, featuring a large set of an old Gothic castle and the famous monsters of days gone by. You*ll see the Wolf Man, the Mummy, the Frankenstein Monster, The Bride Of Frankenstein (in mini skirt and stacked heels), a sexy witch, and an equally sexy blond haired vampire gal in a mini skirt and cape doing many classic songs (does the Mummy sing "Walk Like An Egyptian"? Well, why wouldn*t he?). Lots of pyrotechnics here and the show is a lot of fun to watch-it even has a dose of audience participation as the Wolf Man and Sexy Vampire Gal pull prospective victims from the audience. The cast even does what they call a "Greet The Meat" segment after the show when they come out and mingle with the audience. Where Hot Blooded is played seriously, Ghouls Gone Wild is played largely for humor (the Wolf Man has orange sneakers with his claws sticking out the front). It*s always a must-see on the HOUSE OF DOOM!!!*s list!
Death Row also is another event still around from the first Fearfest (where it was known as the Freezer). While the inmates have changed, the fog, mirrors, and chain link fences still continue to confound even the most seasoned hauntgoers. As if that weren*t bad enough, all of the Death Row inmates have escaped to stalk all who enter-and the cops trying to apprehend them don*t seem to be able to tell the crowds from the convicts, so you*re getting it from both sides. While there isn*t much in the way of effects to look at in Death Row, it features the largest, strangest looking, and most threatening actors in the park. With them around, it*s doubtful anyone will even notice the lack of decor.
Cut Throat Cove is a *new* event, but for all intents and purposes is a transplanted version of last year*s Red Beard*s Revenge-only now with a much better venue and lots more space. It*s probably the toughest event in the park to locate as well, even though every one of the KI haunts is marked with a large red neon skull to make it stand out. It*s worth the effort-particularly the walk to the Pirate*s secret hideout. It takes you on a bridge over a lake past the shadowy Viking ship ride and once on the other side the trail is littered with pirates and scallywags of all descriptions. Inside, you*ll notice many of the same effects and rooms from last year*s events (such as the wine cellar shelves, the wench*s bedroom, the room of hanging heads, and more). The larger venue does allow room for new scenes-there*s a blood bath, for example, a large tavern filled with rum bottles, and a pirate that swings in on a *slingshot* to attack the unwary.
The train ride in the dark, Tombstone Terror-tory, continues to be very popular. The train chugging into the station, belching steam and piercing the fog with its lone headlamp, is the main attraction of the Terror-tory and one only wishes that the ride went on longer! The conductor gives the story of Wally Sparks, the gold miner who wiped out the population of a small town out west years ago. The slaughtered residents are tied to this world until all of Spark*s gold is uncovered. After the train *breaks down*, everyone gets off on foot and prepares to enter the town where the mayhem took place. After entering the saloon where Spark*s killing spree commenced, it*s a long trek down a trail through covered bridges, walkways, and around discarded packing crates and the remnants of the ghost town. In years past the acting here always seemed to be a bit below what*s seen in the rest of the park, but this year there have been a few changes. Some of the covered bridges have ghouls crawling across and hanging upside down from the rafters, creating one of the more impressive areas of the park to go through. There are also skeletons lining the trail that are manipulated by puppeteers, and a lot of actors hiding out in every nook and cranny.
The two remaining Fear Zones, Cemetery Drive and CornStalkers, rely mainly on the talents of their actors to create scares-which they both do rather well. The zombies in the cemetery are the best actors in the park, shambling and stumbling after hauntgoers and never quite abandoning the chase. The tombstones give them ample hiding places, and several static displays are used to draw the attention of onlookers while the creatures approach from the other direction. A particularly good effect continues to be the living monuments located on some of the graves-it*s very tough to tell if they*re the real thing or another creature until it*s too late. Likewise, CornStalkers depends greatly on the stealth abilities of its camouflaged scarecrows hiding out in the cornfields. Even on opening night, they seem to have developed these abilities rather well-the first scarecrow encountered was the best actor we saw all evening. He muttered to himself in a mix of garbled nonsense words, at times whispering barely heard passages to groups, and interspaced that with a guttural, hoarse roar. It gave the fog-shrouded event just another layer of eeriness.
The event that took KI from being a strong event to a superior one last year, Urgent Scare, has also returned and has added a few new wrinkles to its repertoire. The first part of the queue line has been transformed into a part of the haunt, featuring a tunnel filled with plastic sheeting and infected victims of a killer virus attempting to escape the compound (and infecting everyone in line in the process). It*s also has one of the more interesting lines to wait in, with masses of infected zombies continuously jumping the rails and moving among the hauntgoers, with ghouls in wheelchairs attacking from the other side. This year, a group picture is taken at the first room of all of those waiting to *get their inoculations* (you can buy the shot at the booth outside the exit). Then you*re loaded into an elevator to be transported to the infected ward. From there on out, it*s lot like being in a real-life version of a Resident Evil game as zombified patients and doctors seemingly determined to make you into one are encountered every step of the way. There*s buckets of blood being spilled along with creatures that burst out of the chests of the terminally ill. The flickering lights, manic soundtrack, and flurry of activity put this one up there with Death Row for increasing the stress levels of those going through, and it features a lot of detailed set dressing and gore to boot. And even after escaping the hospital, there*s no safety to be found-there*s the ravaged world outside to be navigated, filled with zombies and military personnel looking to assault anything trying to escape the quarantine.
Finally, there*s this year*s headliner event-the Slaughter House. It*s a masterpiece of theming and gore. Seemingly not an inch of the filthy storefront and processing plant of R & J Meats is free from blood and offal. There are many memorable scenes that will stick with patrons for quite some time. After passing through the storefront, hauntgoers are led back into the meat processing plant through a meat locker lined with the carcasses of animals, sides of beef, and things that look strangely...human. It doesn*t take long to figure out that the butchers inside consider you to be nothing more than meat-whether you*re trekking through the locker room, making your way through the pig pens, the loading dock, or any number of rendering rooms, it*s clear your name is on the menu. There*s a great effect where a thrashing woman who has been skinned down to her spine (leaving little more than her attached head) thrashes violently about, and a blazing furnace that some of the butchers seem to think would make for a nice place to dispose of your body. A pig headed man (straight out of Motel Hell, where it takes all kinds of critters to make Farmer Vincent*s fritters) makes for a disturbing sight in a long tunnel. A woman who*s been trussed up, gutted, and dressed like a deer has somehow managed to cling to life. There are the slaughtered carcasses of huge pigs and rotting cattle everywhere. In a room filled with the decomposing trophy heads of various animals, you*re likely to feel the spray of blood as more humans meet their demise. There*s a huge women who looks exactly like the *trailer woman* from the Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake attempting to entrap people in a grisly kitchen. At one point an beat up old car lurches forth out of a garage, no doubt looking for *roadkill*. Roaches line the walls, and it seems it*s time for the Last Roundup when you*re herded into a sort of cattle chute...two pulsing sacs that protrude along the length of a tunnel on either side. It*s a well produced attraction with solid theming and some excellent set dressing (well, except for the cartoon stuffed pigs in the pigpens...but maybe that*s just an example of cannibal humor). It provides just the type of attraction that KI needed to round out their lineup-a no holds barred gore house. All they need to do now is add a chainsaw guy at the end and it*ll be perfect!
KI also has its annual Howl-O-Fest event for the younger crowd, operating during the day on weekends and claiming Mr. Cowpie and his Party Animals (ya, rlly-I couldn*t make that up if I tried), the Meijer Kids Costume Parade, Twisted Tales, Trick-or-Treat Candy Stops, a Pumpkin Patch, Haybale Maze, Dance Party, an Activities Area, and the Backyard BOO BQ among its features.
KI has to be complimented on running such a huge attraction so smoothly. Even on a rainy night, every single event was open-even the outdoor ones. The HOD!!! was there from 7 until 12:30, and the enthusiasm and energy of the actors was as good at midnight as it was at the beginning of the evening-an amazing feat when you consider the sheer number of actors involved, numbering in the hundreds. While FearFest/Halloween Haunt has experienced some missteps over the years, it*s come into its own the last couple of seasons. They have a haunt for virtually any taste, whether it*s gore, acting, entertainment, fun, or eye candy. The crowds promise to be huge this year-and for the smart hauntgoer, they*ll make it a point to take advantage of the Thursday dates or go on Friday when the throng will be smaller. For everyone else...well, maybe it*s a good thing that the Slaughter House will be thinning the herd. It*ll increase your chances of getting to all of the thirteen events! |
