From:Garith
Group:alt.discuss.gayteens
Subject: Hope for gays
Date: Sun, Feb 22, 2004, 7:31pm
Organization: WebTV Subscriber
I have recently had contact with more people, some young, some older, some gay, some not. I have helped some homophobic individuals become more aware of their actions, and to become not quite as judgmental as before. I have helped a gay teen deal with his crush on a heterosexual friend, and I have helped yet another teen deal with his homophobic family. I have helped a young gay from South Africa find some positive gay support in his area. I have helped yet another gay teen find solutions to the problem of an abusive mate.
The point is, web-sites like mine, and others across the web, are actually helping to make things a little better for people.
I agree that the basic attitudes about and towards people who are naturally gay is the main problem that causes suffering and death for so many.
However, I don't see the prejudice against gays as being a stand alone problem. I see it as a human factor, and that factor is fear. The prejudice that we as gays experience today is not unlike the prejudice that other have felt all throughout history, on a variety of levels, and for a variety of reasons. Religious prejudice, gender prejudice, racial prejudice, cultural prejudice, and the list goes on, are all created out of human fear, ignorance, and pride. I would like to tell all gays around the world that their problems will be a quick and easy fix, but that is not realistic, and I'd be lying if I said that.
I was recently asked by a friend in Canada why I believed that religion is more of a contributing factor in gay suicides than it was some 40 years ago, when gay suicides really started to increase. After all, the numbers of teen deaths have continually increased over that time period, and religion has been pretty much the same, and even worse, for thousands of years. Good question, I thought, but the answer to the reasons has to do with the comparisons between live styles of people around the world over that 40 year span of time. In the 1960s, there were just as many gays by percentage as there are today, however there has been about a 40% increase in population during that time, as just one factor of the increase in the number of suicides.
Also, factors such as communication, transportation, television, world-wide-web, urbanization, globalization, mass news media, etc, have all helped to spread the knowledge and familiarization of homosexuality more today than it ever has been before in history. If one were to look at the number of "out" gays in a typical high school in the 1960s, and compare that with todays school age gays, those number alone would be staggering. And with all of this increased attention towards and about homosexuality, the Anti-gay factions are growing in opposition just as much.
There is a certain amount of "safety" involved with being a closeted gay. That is exactly where the term came from, hiding in a closet, for secrecy and protection. But now that more and more gays are stepping out of the safety of their closet, and into the firing lines of direct persecution, the ill effects of homophobia are taking it's toll on those growing numbers. And when one weighs the same effect on the fact that youth are coming to terms with their sexuality at younger and younger ages, the numbers of suicides for those greater numbers of outed gay teens can only be expected to rise as well.
40 years ago, homosexuality was only a small part of what the churches and governments were spending their time, money and efforts on to fight against. 40 years ago, women's rights, black equality, and concerns over the spread of communism was the big problem of the day. Now days, it is within the top ten of their major opposition concerns. Religion and politics are the two top opponents of gay rights, and the degree of effort that both of those factions are putting forth is hundreds of times greater than what they were just 40 years ago.
I think we are only now seeing the height of the damage from homophobia, and as more and more gay (and straight) allies to gay rights continue to break through the propaganda and homophobic myths, the less and less guilt and shame there will be on the part of the openly out gays, both young and old. I am a good example of that positive trend. In just the short time period, (5 years), that I have been out, I have seen a drastic increase in the number of gay support organizations, gay friendly churches, gay supportive schools, and accepting heterosexual citizens.
I have always thought that, with a ratio of 1 homosexual to every 9 heterosexual, it would be the non-homophobic heterosexuals who would ultimately be the factor that wins human rights for gays. That is one reason why I spend as much time trying to re-educate the heterosexuals as I do supporting the homosexuals. I feel that it is just a matter of time before homosexuals will have all the same rights and freedoms that heterosexuals have.
There is more supportive scientific knowledge and findings each and every year, and before long, the more accepting youth of today will be the clergy and politicians of tomorrow, and as a result, the spread of bigoted hatred will be less and less.
The webpage I recently made,Naturally Gay, was due to a conversation that I had with a young heterosexual teen, who openly professed to previously being homophobic. The important thing to note with this young teen is that he now personally rejects the idea of using hatred towards gays, even though he may not believe in his heart that it is an alright thing to be homosexual. He told me that the love he discovered and felt on my website helped to open his eyes, and to see the evils and damage that is caused by hatred. So the point is, even though he still may not personally accept gays, he has been changed into someone who likely won't cause direct and intentional violence or threats against another gay teen. And who knows, maybe the slander or actions this young man might have used against someone at his school could have been the final straw that would have pushed a hurting gay teen over the edge, and into the deadly pit of suicide. I truly believe that finding and helping to stop the source of homophobic prejudice is just as, or even more so important as, trying to heal the damages to the victims of homophobia.
So, as more and more teens are choosing to come out of the closet at younger and younger ages, there is more hope today than ever before that they will actually be able to emerge from that light at the end of the tunnel. Everything we do, everything we say, and every heart we touch, whether individually, or in a group, does make a difference in the quality of life. Don't give up!!
Peace and love... and thank you.
Garith