1. If you miss removing some dried glue from a joint, it will appear in the most visable spot on your project 2. One piece in a thousand will snap in the middle, popping a huge unsightly, tripple-pronged, unglueable splinter when you try to install it. 3. The router bit you need to use will stay hidden in the shop until you buy a replacement. 4. The store you buy router bits from will have every bit in stock except the one you need. 5. The greater the number of any one router bit you have on hand, the harder it will be to find it. 6. Dovetails on scrap wood as tests, will be perfect. 7. The router and dovetail jig will need adjustment on the actual project after all tests prove perfect. 8. When one more test setting is needed, you'll not have the scrap wood to do the test with. You'll move to the actual wood and the settings will be off. 9. Every dovetail joint in a project will have a fault except the last one. 10. Once you find the tool you are looking for, something else will dissapear. 11. Interchangable parts will not. 12. Once a project is fouled up, anything you do to it will only make it worse. 13. The woodworker with the least expertise, has the most opinions. 14. A $300 tool will protect a 10 cent fuse by burning out first. 15. The amount of planning you put into a Saturday afternoon project will be directly proportional to the thoughts SWMBO has of taking you shopping for clothes at the same time. 16. In any project assembly, if there is a 50% chance of putting it together wrong, there will be a 95% chance you will put it together wrong the first time. 17. You will always have enough epoxy resin left for that last joint, but you'll be out of hardener. 18. The workpiece on the lathe will always catch and explode when you make that last, light finishing cut. 19. No matter how many pencils you buy, there is never enough. 20. No matter how many pencils you sharpen, you will never find one. 21. When you finally find a pencil in the shop, you will have forgotten your measurement. 22. When you finally cut those perfectly book-matched boards you've been saving for doors on a special cabinet, you will have discovered you have two left ones. 23. The tool you can not find will be in the last place you look. 24. On any project, you will find at least one board that no matter how many times you cut it, it will still be too short. 25. No matter how well you plan a project, you will never be able to finish it in 30 minutes, like Norm Abram. 26. Half way through a well planned project, you will need a tool you don't have. 27. When SWMBO requires you to do a project that requires new tool, she won't let you buy it. 28. Drying time on glue is inversely proportional to the amount of time the lid has been left off of the bottle. 29. Mistakes only happen on the most visable piece. 30. No matter how large or powerful a tool you buy, it will be inadequate for the next project you want to use it for. 31. No matter how many screws, nuts, bolts or fasteners you have, you will never have the right one at the right time. 32. No matter where you lay down a tool, you will be on the other side of the shop when you need it again. 33. No matter where you make a place to keep a tool, it won't be in it when you need it. 34. Every one hour project will take 6-1/2 hours in your shop. 35. All the free plans available, always seem boring. 36. Any project done for a relative or friend, will have them over every night until it is finished to their satisfaction. 37. No matter how much blood, sweat and tears you put into a project, no one will appreciate it or like it as much as you do. 38. Plans always have a step, joint, or technique you hate, think is stupid, never heard of or don't have the tools for. 39. You can never afford the wood for the really cool projects. 40. The exciting project you don't have time for on Tuesday night, is the one that is too boring to do on Saturday morning. 41. You never remember "shop tips" while working in the shop. 42. Yo can never remember all the things you need at Home Depot when you have to go there. 43. You never remember the wood you needed until you unload the truck with the wood you thought you needed. 44. Every project will take six hours of cleaning the shop, rearranging the tools and building a one time jig before you can start. 45. Building a jig always takes more time than building the project you have to use it with. 46. You would rather spend your money on good tools than waste it on expensive hardwoods. 47. You can always purchase an item cheaper than it is to make. 48. If you measure a dimension twice and get the same measurement both times, your measuring tape is inaccurate. 49. If you measure something three times, one will not agree with the other two. 50. If your measurements are exact, you will invariably cut on the wrong side of the mark at least once.